“At long last, they’ve decided that gay people are fit to be included in their elite club — one that’s already allowed in adulterers, wife-swappers, gamblers, cheaters, rapists, racists and slaughterers of man. Those who’ve abused spouses, drugs, alcohol, family members and animals. Yes, at long last homosexuality is no longer a bar to a profession where you can already get away with choking your boss, texting your dick to a co-worker, and throwing lit firecrackers into crowds of children. Congratulations, gay athletes. Are you sure you want to hang out with these fucking people?”
Once again, having to start under horrific events here in this country. I really hate the fact that I can cross reference my thoughts to so many other events that have occurred over the years of a similar ilk. So I’m not going to, I’m just going to say this to Boston: Thank you. Thank you for once again, in the face of gross inhumanity, inspiring and solidifying my belief in humanity and the people of this country. So, thank you for everything that you’ve done. It’s quite a little city you’ve got going on up there.
New Yorkers and Boston have kind of a little bit of a competition, often times the two cities accusing the other of various levels of suckitude. But it is in situations like this that we realize that it is clearly a sibling rivalry, and that we are your brothers and sisters in this type of event. As a city that knows the feeling of confusion, anger and grief, and chaos that comes with these events, I can tell you, from personal experience, you’ve got a hell of a city going there. And you’ve done an incredible job in the face of all this.
“For people who are gay or support gay marriage, I get how seeing thousands of people come out to make this statement is incredibly disheartening. But take solace in this: gay marriage is happening. Like many drive-thru window lanes, it ain’t going backwards. And your bonus is this: you get gay marriage, and all your political opponents are going to get is Type 2 Diabetes.” - Jon Stewart
Romney 2012: “I don’t manage the money that I have. In order make sure that I didn’t have a conflict of interest while I was governor or while I was considering a run for national office, I had a blind trust established.”
Romney 1994: “The blind trust is an age-old ruse, if you will, which is to say, you can always tell the blind trust what it can and cannot do. You give a blind trust rules.”