Mitt Romney, the Least Interesting Man in the World.
He once said corporations were people, because compared to him they are.
When ambien can’t sleep, it takes him.
He once masturbated thinking about the great everyday values at Sears.
Paint watches him dry.
He doesn’t always drink beer, but when he does - no wait, he never does, because he is the Least Interesting Man in the World. Stay boring my friends.
(Bill Maher on Real Time)
Jon is not impressed by CNN’s holodeck.
Jon cracks up over the appearance of Leroy Jenkins on the Daily Show last night.
“President Obama has traded in the hard hat and lunch bucket category of the Democratic Party for a hipster fedora and a double-skim latte.” - Senator Orrin Hatch, R-UT
As my friend pointed out, the jab ain’t even correct. What hipster drinks dairy?
Jon is begging Santorum to stop making butt jokes.
When asked if he follows NASCAR. Oh, Mitt.
How is it that __________ hasn’t crushed this guy already?
When asked to describe himself with one word, Newt Gingrich chose “cheerful.” Jon disagrees.
Please, Rick, I don’t want to know what’s “burning down there.”
If the GOP really makes this issue central in the next month or so, Santorum (whose campaign claims to have raised $2.2 million in the two days following his victories last week) is by far the likeliest candidate to benefit. It could finally unite the Christian fundamentalist right behind him—especially since Romneycare contained exactly the same provisions on contraception that Obamacare did before last week’s compromise was announced. That’s right: Romneycare can now accurately be portrayed as falling to the left of Obamacare on the contraception issue.
Bill Maher posthumously un-baptizes Mitt Romney’s dead father-in-law Edward Davies. Read more about this troubling story here.
If you still insist atheism is a religion, then it’s only fair that we get to do all the looney stuff that you get to do. And I’m going to start tonight by un-baptising Mitt Romney’s dead father-in-law.
In case you didn’t hear, it was discovered last week that Edward Davies, Anne Romney’s father, an enthusiastically anti-religious scientist who called organized faith, “hogwash,” was posthumously baptized in the Mormon tradition 14 months after he died. They tried to do it sooner but he wouldn’t stop spinning in his grave.
So here, then, is history’s first ever un-baptism ceremony, right now, for the late Edward Davies.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of math, gravity, evolution and electricity to honor brother Edward and to send the powers of Seal Team 666 to rescue him from Planet Klolobb so he may spend eternity with the kind of free-thinkers he chose to hang out with on Earth.
So by the power granted to me by the Blair Witch, schlemiel schlimazel, e plurbis mumbo jumbo, expecto patronum, sussussudio, yo momma… I call upon the Mormon spirits to leave your body the fuck alone. Brother Edward, in this world you had to put up with Mitt Romney, you’ve suffered enough!
“And that’s why I’m going to make Ron Paul my first ambassador to Moonlandia!”
